


Hormones

by iloveitblue



Series: Prompts [228]
Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Im too lazy to tag - Freeform, M/M, hahaha
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-18
Updated: 2015-05-18
Packaged: 2018-03-31 04:00:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,081
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3963583
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iloveitblue/pseuds/iloveitblue
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Phil is overdosed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hormones

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: Science may not be right because I'm not a scientist.

Clint heard a clatter then a crash. Papers flying to drop unceremoniously on the floor then more crashing. Clint swore he heard several thuds that like someone punching the wall. 

All of it happening inside Coulson’s office.

“What’s going on?” Clint asked Bruce, typing away in his little tablet just outside of Coulson’s office.

Everyone was there. The Avengers, Maria Hill, Melinda May, Jasper Sitwell. Everyone Phil considered his friends, all standing and waiting outside Phil’s office. All except Fury.

“What took you so long?” Natasha asked.

“I was in Jersey. How long did you think it was going to take me?” Clint retorted. He almost got the drug lord he tied up in a chair to talk just before Natasha called and told him to come back to HQ. “What’s going on?” He asked again since no one answered him the first time. “Where’s Coulson?”

They all simultaneously looked at the door and Bruce sighed. “Agent Coulson got drugged.”

When Clint’s frown deepens, Maria tried explaining. “He’s having an episode.”

“What?”

“Coulson’s hormone levels managed to multiply to an insane amount. I’m thinking maybe it was the oxytocin, vasopressin and corticotropin if his actions are anything to go by. If it was any other person they wouldn’t be standing.”

“Again, What?”

“He inhaled something and now he has the rage of the Hulk without all the..” Tony extended his arms and made a show of stomping around.

Bruce rolled his eyes but nodded. “There’s a little more science that goes into it, but yeah. That’s basically it. It’s not contagious but we locked him up in there so he doesn’t accidentally hurt himself or others.”

“Where’s Fury?” Clint asked, suddenly worried about Coulson. “Shouldn’t he be in there?”

“He is.” Steve told him with a sigh. “He’s been trying to calm him down for the past 20 minutes.”

“It doesn’t seem to be working.” Thor frowned, and then there was silence. “I stand corrected.” 

Fury stepped out of the office holding his jaw and waggling it around.

“Is he okay?” Clint was the first to ask.

“I sedated him.” Fury answered before he wiped the blood off of the corner of his cheek.

“Meaning?” May asked him with a raised eyebrow.

“Meaning I punched his face and tied him to his chair with duct tape on his mouth.”

“Not the solution I would go for, but I guess that’ll give him ample time to flush the drug out of his system.” Bruce stated. “I already tested the blood May and Natasha took from him a while ago and he should be fine when this dies down. Nothing his body can’t handle.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked Bruce. 

“Yes, I triple checked.”

Clint tried not to bounce on his feet.Even though Bruce already assured them that Phil is going to be okay, he’s still worried about Coulson. He huffed out a breath and walked towards the door. “I’m going in.” Clint said before anyone could stop him.

Clint locked the door behind him and turned to find Coulson glaring at him. He’s never seen Coulson glare at him when he didn’t do something monumentally stupid. Although, going inside his office while Phil was raging probably wasn’t the smartest move.

Clint walked around the desk and aside from Phil’s hands, his legs were too. “I’m going to remove the duct tape now. Please don’t yell at me.” Phil continued to glare at him and Clint figured he wasn’t going to respond any other way soon, so he went for the tape, pulling it off of Coulson’s lips fast kinda like a band-aid.

“Fucking OW!” Phil yelled. “Careful with that! Do you know how much that hurts?” He demanded with an intensity Clint’s rarely seen because even when Phil was angry, he’s never actually voiced it out loud.

“Yeah, actually. I do. I’ve had my fair share of kidnappings before.” Clint sat on Phil’s desk, 

Phil actually looked guilty for a minute before he went back to scowling at Clint. “What are you doing here? Everyone else is avoiding me like the plague.”

“That’s because you’re being a jerk.” Clint pointed out with a nod.

“Someone drugged me! You think I’ll let that stand?” Clint would be willing to bet that if Phil wasn’t tied up, he’d be smashing things all over the place by now.

“No, I know you’ll give them hell, but this isn’t how you normally go about it.”

“How do you know what my normal is? How do you know this isn’t my normal?” Phil sneered, and Clint knew it was inappropriate, but was it wrong to think Angry Phil is cute?

“Oh, I don’t know. Maybe because I’m your husband?” Clint rolled his eyes. “Trust me, this” He motioned to all of Phil. “isn’t normal.”

“Fuck you.” Phil bit back.

“Not now, and not while you’re drugged.” Clint said with an even tone.

Phil sighed and rolled his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that.” 

Clint shrugged, smiling. “I know. I just had to stop you from yelling.” He hopped off of the table and knelt in front of Phil. “I’m going to untie you. You think you got the temper down?”

Phil closed his eyes tiredly and nodded. 

“You’re never going to live this down. I swear.” Clint told him with a chuckle as he started to undo the knots.

—

“Took you long enough.” Maria scolded the junior agent who brought them the extra keys to Phil’s office. As soon as Maria snatched the keys, the junior agent scampered off. 

Fury unlocked the door and peered inside. After 5 minutes of Coulson’s yelling and then the silence, Everyone was pretty sure they killed each other. But when Fury unlocked the door, Clint and Phil were just on the couch.

“Are they… cuddling?” Tony asked in general.

“Shush!” Clint glared at them. “He passed out after he sat down.”

“How?” Maria asked, “Fury had to punch him. What did you do?”

Clint shrugged with the arm Phil wasn’t using as a pillow. “Nothing. I just talked to him. He seemed to respond to me better after a few minutes.”

“Well, that makes sense. Since most of his hormones are elevated, seeing Clint must have been the catalyst for his dopamine and adrenaline to overpo-”

“English.” Clint interrupted.

“True love’s kiss: It’s the most powerful thing in the world.” Steve said with a smile.

Tony’s eyes lit up. “Did you just quote Enchanted? I think Steve quoted Enchanted.”

**Author's Note:**

> [Here on tumblr](http://promptmephlint.tumblr.com/post/119279493486/i-finished-my-report-last-night-and-im-almost-a)


End file.
